Monday, November 23, 2015

Canadian Sense of Humour

Do you think that Canadians have a specific sense of humour?

I read an online article last week and it got me to thinking about this. (I'll share the link at the end.) The article is a compilation of comments by Canadians on Tumblr, in which they're "pulling other people's legs" as my mom would say. I'm wondering whether this kind of joke is one that we do particularly well, or that maybe is more common here.

There certainly are a lot of comedians who came from the Great White North (which is in itself a Canadian joke about Canada). Here's the Wiki list of Canadian comedians and it's a long one.

I think we live with this kind of quick humor all the time. My husband, for example, does a great deadpan delivery. He'll say something completely preposterous but do it so seriously that the other person often believes him. The Queen Bee - the dog we lost two years ago - was a standard poodle. Poodles are an old breed but he took the stories to a new level. One night, we had guests for dinner and one of them commented on how the QB turned in tight circles before lying down. All dogs do this, of course, but Mr. Math rolled with it.

"It was a survival mechanism developed by the Wild Poodles of the Serengeti," he said solemnly. "By bedding down in the tall grasses of the savannah, they could hide from predators at night."

"Really?" said our guest. "I had no idea."

"Oh yes, the Wild Poodles of the Serengeti were the origin of the breed."

"There must have been a lot of predators there, though. What about lions?"

"Oh, the Wild Poodles had a symbiotic relationship with the lions. They guarded the lions while they ate, and in return, the lions left the bones to the Wild Poodles. They preferred the marrow, and their tongues were shaped perfectly to extract it from the bones, which the lions didn't do as well."


"Of course, French explorers noted this behaviour and it was from their drawings of the Wild Poodles of the Serengeti consuming marrow that French silversmiths originally derived the marrow spoon. The shape is perfect for its task, and in fact, their bringing Wild Poodles to France - where ultimately they evolved into the poodles we know today - could be directly attributed to the French admiration of their ability to extract marrow. Do we have a marrow spoon?"

He would have gone on like this for as long as possible, but I didn't have a marrow spoon, (much less a bone with marrow) to compare with the dog's tongue, and our guest finally caught on.

I'm not "the funny one" but I've often had to remove these kinds of exchanges from my books, because my American editors didn't understand them. That's happened hundred of times, but here's one example for which I still have documentation. This is a passage from Ember's Kiss, my edight Dragonfire novel. Kira (a friend) and Brandon (the hero and a surfer) are talking about the Banzai Pipeline, a beach with a specific wave form in Hawaii. It's tough to surf the Pipe, but Brandon is good at it. This is the originally delivered manuscript.

Here's what happened in the edits. If you've ever used Track Changes in Word, this will look familiar. Track Changes allows multiple people to work on a document, each using a different colour. In this case, the copy editor (CE) is using red, and the author (AU - that's me!) is using red. The CE highlighted the last line in the excerpt shown above, and here's the comment:

I could have fought for this, but by this point in time - my last New York edited book - I was tired of these exchanges. And the fact is that if the CE didn't get it, probably a lot of American readers wouldn't have gotten it either. Still, I liked the line. I have the rights back to this book and when I republish it, that line will be in the final book.

Why talk about humour this month? Of course, I have a devious reason for it! (Ha!) My Coxwell Series of four contemporary romances and romantic comedies in now available in a digital boxed set. You can get Third Time Lucky, Double Trouble, One More Time and All or Nothing in one file for a special price - only at iBooks and Kobo. I price my boxed sets of series so that if you buy them all at once, you get one free. There's also an excerpt in the back of this boxed set for Simply Irresistible, the first book in a new series of contemporary romances and romantic comedies coming next June. (There's an excerpt on my website, too - just follow the link.) This time, there'll be no one to comment on my Canadian jokes!

And here, as promised, is the link to the article that started me on this train of thought: 19 Times Canadians Mercilessly Trolled The Rest of the World on Tumblr

Enjoy! Then tell me whether YOU think Canadians have a specific sense of humour. I'll give away a trade paperback copy of Double Trouble one person who comments. Good luck!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

November is the month of New Releases!

In the four years I've had books release, I've found that my books tend to release during certain months, while I don't have any titles release in other months. January and April tend to be popular for me, as well as November. Last year, The Star Princess released in November. And in 2013, Alien Admirer released in November. So did Sex Boot Camp, a story I originally wrote under the pen name Paisley Brown, as it is very naughty. 

Now it's November 2015, and I've just released Alien Attraction, with Accidental Romance re-releasing next Monday. 

I've always wanted to do NaNoWriMo, but new releases seem to always get in my way. I'm still writing though. On December 31st, I'll be sending out a special short story called Alien Kisses At Midnight to my newsletter subscribers. And I'm working on the first book in my Galactic Defenders series, called Bryce. Will it release in April or November? I'm not sure. I'll know when I get it finished.

Until then, let me know what month you tend to buy the most books in...


Erotic Sci-Fi Romance

She wants to be more alien.

He wants to be more human.

Born a galaxy apart, will Angela and Chal have a chance at love, or will their extraterrestrial secrets leave them running to stay alive?

Available From:

Amazon US | UK | Canada | Germany | Australia


New Adult Contemporary Western Romance

Her plans changed in an instant…

Once finished college, Leanne intended to take over her family dairy farm, let her father retire and finally take a vacation. After one tragic night, her dreams go up in smoke. She loses the ability to do the most basic of things.

And brought him closer…

Jake, the farm hand who lives down the road, refuses to let Leanne give up on her goals. He remains by her side throughout her healing. But, when he confesses his true intentions, their friendship takes a drastic turn.

If only she’d known before she lost her arm.

Pre-order from:

Amazon US | UK | Canada | Germany | Australia

Jessica E. Subject is the author of science fiction romance, mostly alien romances, ranging from sweet to super hot. Sometimes she dabbles in paranormal and contemporary as well, bringing to life a wide variety of characters. In her stories, you could not only meet a sexy alien or two, but also clones and androids. You may be transported to a dystopian world where rebels are fighting to live and love, or to another planet for a romantic rendezvous. 

When Jessica is not reading, writing, or doing dreaded housework, she likes to get out and walk with her giant, hairy dog her family adopted from the local animal shelter.

Jessica lives in Ontario, Canada with her husband and two energetic children. And she loves to hear from her readers. You can find her at and on twitter @jsubject.

Monday, November 9, 2015

I'm Back! Hopefully Not With a Cold Front Either.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / firewings

Howdy folks, and welcome from the freezing north. While there's no snow in sight, yet, I suspect it really just around the corner.

You're probably wondering why I'm even mentioning snow before Remembrance Day, or the American Thanksgiving. That's because usually come Halloween, the first sign of snow has arrived. Last year it was mid-November the snow came and never left until April. We're pretty much hoping we don't have a repeat of last year, so pray for us. LOL

In other news unrelated to the cold and dreary season upon us, my previously published novella Scandal at Vauxhall and the following books in the Pleasure Garden Follies series will be rereleasing starting in February by Liquid Silver Books.  I'm so glad my first historical romances will be returned to ebook retailers soon.

I've also got a few new series in the works and will share more information as soon as I can. In the meanwhile, how about you tell me how you prepare for the winter chill? I usually make sure I have tons of blankets throughout the house so everyone has an opportunity to curl up, especially with an awesome book. If I had an actually wood burning fireplace, I suppose now would be the appropriate time to make sure the wood was ready too.

In the name of keeping warm, how about I share a teaser from erotic contemporary novella His Unexpected Submissive.

Alex couldn’t help but be amused at how red the woman had turned. If thongs weren’t her thing, who was he to deny if she wanted to go bare? His blood rushed to his lower extremities. She kept herself meticulously groomed, but her bare ass would look lovely marked with his handprint. If she stayed long enough tonight, he’d even see to her preparation personally. If she were interested.
“Now, now, Mercedes. There’s no need to be shy. Poppy, run along. Master Brian is waiting. I do believe you’ll be needing this.” He passed her a black riding crop. “Be sure to tell him you’ll need three strikes for deliberately breaking house rules.”
“Yes, Master Alex.” She accepted the implement and stormed off, clearly knowing how much trouble she was in.
He walked further into the room and stopped behind Mercedes, bending his head to take in the soft, feminine scent of vanilla. Alex kissed the crook of her neck and pulled her back into his chest. “You look utterly delectable, Mercedes. If it helps you, for tonight, I’ll permit you to keep your polka-dot panties on…but the bra has to come off.”
Alex felt her tremble beneath his touch. Was she afraid, or simply inexperienced? He’d find out soon enough, as he intended to bring her much pleasure.
He turned her around and lifted her chin. “Mercedes, I asked you to do something. You will acknowledge me by answering with ‘Yes, Sir’.”

Want to read more? Pick up your copy today!

It's been a blast, my friends. Come find me here next month, and I just might have an exclusive for you. xo